Here With Me
by Queen Alanna of conte
Summary: SongFic to Dido's here With Me. Alanna has pre wedding jitters, Jon cant get the Lioness out of his head. Will he tell her how he feels before its too late?


**Disclaimer: I dont own any characters, names etc only the plot is mine. **

**This is just something that popped into my head the other day and i couldnt get it out until i wrote it down. Hopefully its not too bad. **

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><p><em>I didn't hear you leave<br>I wonder how am I still here _

She had left for the swoop just before dawn, he hadn't even had a change to say goodbye. He shook his head, amused by his own silliness; he would be seeing her again in a week's time. He looked over at the beautiful raven haired woman lying next to him, Jon sighed, sure she was a beauty, sweet and kind, but he was no fiery red-haired knight.

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><p>With a slight groan he pulled himself out of bed and quietly got dressed, a part of him wanted to ride after her, but he knew that he couldn't.<p>

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><p><em>And I don't want to move a thing<br>It might change my memory_

He was having a day dream, back to just after Alanna had won her shield. He stood in the doorway to her rooms, taking in every inch of the place, she would soon be moving out, leaving for her adventures and he wanted one last chance to soak in all the memorise that this place held. They had spent the last 3 years here, laughing, talking, forgetting about the world around them, creating their own little world enjoying each other's company. He moved into the room and stood facing the joining door. He remembered the night that they had been first together. she had been standing where he was now. She had whispered "I'm scared Jon." He had told her that he was scared too, that they could be scared together.

He was awoken from his day dream by a voice, he looked up and saw Thayet, he gave her a sad smile and apologised for being so lost in thought.

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><p><em>Oh I am what I am<br>I do what I want  
>But I can't hide<em>

Alanna looked down at the dress wedding dress she was being fitted for. It was simple, like her, white, with purple embroidery on the bodice and hems, nothing fancy, little lace and no frills. She looked at herself in the mirror, a lady stared back. This wasn't her. She was more comfortable with a shirt, breeches and her sword strapped by her side. She thought about why she was marrying George, she loved him that much was obvious, but it was also because he accepted her for her, he didn't care if she wore skirts, or if she was diplomatic, he accepted her for being a lady knight, he knew that she couldn't be tied down, with George she could come and go as she pleased. Even so she couldn't hide the fact that she still loved Jon, they had a passion that she could never have with George. However things were simple George, they had never been simply with Jon, even if they had been simple they would have never worked out, she couldn't be Queen. Suddenly she remembered a thought that she had when she had been facing her Ordeal of Knighthood. _Marrying him (Jon) wouldn't be so bad some day. _She violently shoved the thought aside, she was marrying George Cooper and it would take divine intervention to stop it from happening.

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><p><em>And I won't go<br>I won't sleep  
>I can't breathe<br>Until you're resting here with me_

She woke from a dream, covered in sweat. She had been dreaming about the fight that she and Jon had in the desert again. This was the third night in a row, each time she awoke each time with guilt, guilt for dreaming about a man other than George and guilt brought up every time she remembered the fight. She had said things that she didn't mean, and she had never really apologised to Jon for saying them. She rolled over and closed her eyes, willing sleep to come, but it didn't.  
><em><br>_

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><p><em>And I won't leave<br>I can't hide  
>I cannot be<br>Until you're resting here with me_

Jon couldn't get the image of Alanna out of his head; it was as if someone had painted her behind his eyes. It was infuriating and nothing worked to get rid of it. No matter how he looked at it he missed Alanna, he needed her and not for the first time he wished that it was she that he shared his bed with.

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><p><em>I don't want to call my friends<br>For they might wake me from this dream _

He knew that he had to find her before the ceremony started; he had to tell her how he felt, that he still loved her, she needed to know, and hopefully then he could put his mind to ease. Even if she ended up marrying George he would know that she had made that choice knowing how he felt. He ran through the corridors, franticly searching, the ceremony started soon. He opened the door to her bedroom, she had to be in here, he had to find her...

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><p><em>And I can't leave this bed<br>Risk forgetting all that's been _

She looked at herself in the mirror, they had finished putting the touches on her face and to the dress, now they had left her alone with her thoughts, until Myles came and got her for the ceremony. She was nervous, more nervous than she had ever been in her life. For the hundredth time she wondered if she was doing the right thing. The dreams about Jon had been haunting her all week, making her miss him desperately. Suddenly she wasn't too sure that she wanted to marry George, she wasn't sure what she wanted anymore. The door opened and Alanna turned, meeting her fate...

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><p><em>Oh I am what I am<br>I do what I want  
>But I can't hide<em>

They stared at each other for a moment; neither one speaking. Jon rushed over to her, engulfing her in a hug. She let out a breath that she hadn't realised she had been holding and sank into his embrace.

"I love you Alanna." He whispered.

"I love you too Jon." Came her reply. He looked into eyes.

"Don't marry him, give me another shot."

"Jon..."

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><p><em>And I won't go<br>I won't sleep  
>I can't breathe<br>Until you're resting here with me_

Myles entered Alanna's room to find it empty; he frowned and found a note placed on the pillow, it was written in a hurry:

Myles,

I cannot go through with it, for reasons that I won't explain now. Tell George that I am really and truly sorry, but I cannot marry him when I love someone else. I have gone back to Trebond for a few days to clear my head and will head back to the palace after. I'll send someone for my things later.

All my love Alanna

P.S. Tell Thayet I'm sorry – Jon.

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><p><strong>What did you think?<strong>


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